|
me
[x] Girl
[x] shuqunite
[x] RGSS
[x] Waddlian
[x] PSB07 SPSB08
[x] Judoka
[x] Mustang
[x] BADMINTON!
::links::
|
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Been thinking a lot lately. Too many things making me think >.<
First, I m thinking about my piano. My teacher said that i m doing pretty well but i practise too little. Hmm... 4 hours a week too little? maybe. Mum just bought me a new piano and she expects me to play at least half an hour a day on weekdays and 2 hours a day as per normal on weekends. that adds up to about 6-7 hours a week. Should be enough.
I m also thinking about my subject combination next year. I love all the subjects except geog. I dont want to let go of any. Triple science used to be a must but now i m not so sure now. When i m having my lit lesson, i m thinking: wow i love lit, i m sure gonna take lit + triple science. However, during history lessons i go: History is great too! Deliama. I hate deliamas. Its very scary a thought that if i don't choose one of the subjects, I m never gonna take it again. Its like the poem the road not taken:
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
" i doubted if i should ever come back" Perhapes i never will get the chance to take up the subjects i drop this year. Never. Scary thought isnt it? Sometimes it makes me feel like crying. Why does the world work this way? There is onle a thin line between now and the past. As I write, it passes. Never to come back. My life is like a long (or perhapes short) road; I keep on walking forward, never to stop and never to turn back. And when i reach the end... I shudder to think about it. History is much more fun than lit but i somehow likes lit better. Yet, I m just reluctant to let go.
Thinking is addictive. I think and think and think, thinking about everything from Judo to School to everyday life. Am I foolish to try and work for B div team? Am I? I mean, think about it, what s the point? Why not let it work out as it is? I don't know. Really. I guess I really enjoy training though it might be tough. I guess I like the feeling of going to competitions and I really hate to be shunned out of the excitement. I m just plain selfish. One man's meat is another man's poison. If I get in, I m taking the chance away from someone. If I don't get in... My own feelings i hurt. You d think I m insane but deep down, I m really looking forward to training camp.
Perhapes I m thinking too much, perhapes I was just too inmature. There are too many Perhapes and Ifs in me. I wish i know the answers. Wishes never come true.
yidan left a note at 5:28 PM
***
|
Chatterbox
designed by jenqi
|
